I am not too proud to say that I have developed the uncanny ability of giving the illusion of being helpful. This has served me in good stead over the years, as I have made it my goal to avoid any tasks that would require removing myself from my comfort zone, which is usually watching sports on TV or doing crossword puzzles. There comes a time, however, when whatever remnants of common decency that were taught to me by my parents and mentors force me to volunteer to help out my fellow humans. It is as those key points of inflection in my life that my gift truly comes to the fore.
As an example, we were down in DC this weekend for my sister-in-law’s 25th anniversary party. We arrived early to help out with the setup for the party. More precisely, my wife arrived to help with the setup with the party. I arrived to with the goal of eating some Indian food, drinking some excellent wine, and working the puzzle page of The Washington Post. As some point, however, it became evident that I needed to give some effort to the undertaking. I volunteered to help pick out the wines for the party. What a terrible task, having to go to one of the better wine stores in the district and shop for wines that I wasn’t going to have to pay for. I struggled through.
I figured I was done for the day, and only had to worry about not completely dehydrating in the sauna-like conditions. It soon became evident that my Sudoku reverie was going to be broken by the need to once again appear to be helpful. This time, I was asked to help out by putting together the music for the evening’s party. So let’s get this straight. I get to sit in front of a computer and screen 3500 songs to find the ones that I like and then put them together into a series of playlists (one for starters, one for dinner, one for dancing, and one for the end of the evening). I got to hear a whole bunch of songs that I haven’t listed to in a long time (or ever for that matter), while everyone else actually did something useful.
The party, as it turns out, was just great. The caterer was fantastic, making life easy on everyone, and the food was out of this world. The hosts were convivial and entertaining, and made everyone feel welcome and that they were an essential part of the celebration. But the really important news is that, as has happened countless times before, my modest contributions were acknowledged well out of proportion to the effort expended.